Hospitalized Day 2 until Day 6 (>.<)

It has been a long time that I never touched this blog. It was due to the overloaded assignment and works as well as the approaching final exam. All of this factors lead to one consequence i.e. procrastination of my blog update.

Just to remember the past and to ensure that my memories would not be washed away by the time flies, I need to recall back the incident… the incident that indeed played a tremendous effect on my life personally. The 2th day of hospitalized, it was not an easy task at all, I fought against the death twice at that particular night. The outcome of my condition was not satisfied and the surgeons came early in the morning to check on my profile and they all come out with a conclusion i.e. to do surgery as there was excessive bleeding last night about 3 liter. It was not the whole blood that was bleed out but mixture of body fluid too. I stunned for a while and I said I need to call for my brother to discuss…

I did call and my brother rushed to the hospital immediately after answering my call. At that particular moment, there was really no others choice but to open out my lung to see what was wrong internally. Yes, I said to the doctor after informed my brother. I even signed the agreement by myself right after the decision was made by me. Although doctor also cannot tell me the risk for this surgery and I always thought that they will at least say 50:50 or others. The surgeons said they cannot identify which was wrong inside my lung capacity, thus they cannot guarantee anythings to me. Ok… I said. At that particular moment, I really have 100 and 1% of faith to all the surgeons there. I know they can save me and I will take the operation without any anxious.

All was settled and I was just waited to be pushed into the surgical room. Here was the time, my brother with his girl friend approached me… my brother cried and and said don’t worry lah… I am the one who gotta be “cut”, yet I have not cried and you cry… shame lah… I insisted not to call my parent to come and see me and waited for me out of the surgical room as I knew they will not able to bear it. I said right after all of the surgical done only call them to come… They afraid that I will never come out again… Hence, I even write out my will to be kept by my brother’s girl friend and the nurse saw also tried to give their motivation to me as said that there was someone who had done this kind surgery they able to recover and etc. Thanks to them… It sounds like a drama or series, but I have to tell you that this was what happened on 9.8.2009 early morning at 9am. What are you doing at that moment?

Life is full of sweet and bitter, we need to take both no matter is sweet and bitter. Fear? If I said no, it is just a lie. Yet, I have to say and advise for those who “touch wood” need to undergo these please do not think negative thought in your mind such as I will never see my beloved anymore or I will not going to live but to think I will eat this after the surgery *as I was focused to fast the night before surgery, I will go on tour with your beloved and etc. These all optimistic thought will indeed motivate you and God Bless that you will always be protected.

Sound of cardiogram, chilled air condition occupied the space… I was waken up the cardiogram sound and the first object I saw was the cardiogram machine on my right and my bed is near to the window. The day still bright and I doubt what’s time is it. The next, the nurse approached and offered me a drink. God! It was the most treasure water I ever got since the hour I entered hospital and furthermore, I was being offered Milo too if I want to drink. My brother approached me and asked my condition and I told him I am ok but a bit tired. Morphine was  given to be on my left hand to be pressed whenever I felt pain. When I was in the ICU, the journalist of Metro came and interviewed me and I did it as he just want to create an awareness among the public. In this extend, I am willing to offer my help to him even I was not in a good condition.

Most of my relatives came all the ways from varies places to see me in General Hospital. All of these make me feel touching and indeed treasure to have their support at that moment. I lived one night in ICU and later being transferred back to normal ward SW13 in the evening next day. This is a good sign. I wished to say the pain while I was in ICU was not really cause by the wounds but the urine tube that was being inserted in my penis. Why should I say it out here because I need to advise to all that this indeed a disaster for me for the subsequent day. I have no choice to say I do not want the urine tube as I was unconscious. Once I wake up, while I needed to pee, the feeling is really pain not by the wound but rather the penis as you felt like burn of the urinary tube of your penis and could not even bear as there was high pressure being applied by the narrowing tube of the urine tube that was inserted. Damn pain… I requested the nurse there to take it off immediately I was conscious and in a good condition. You know what, the pain was still remained there even the tube was being removed. The burn layer in the urinary tube within your penis due to the lining layer of tissue was damaged by the external applied tube forcefully inserted will still be felt every time I wished to pee. Indeed disaster… until clotting of blood also will be urinated. What’s the fish !@@#!@#!$#$^&%%&^&%&….

All of the conditions became better as time goes. One by one the chest tube was removed at last I can go to bath by myself as I really felt like damn dirty for not able to take shower for a few days. The spirometer was one of my most vital companion throughout the hospitalized days as I need to blow up 3 balls for at least 10 seconds. Good to have all of the friends and relatives come and see me as well as show their support to me by writing cards, sending me flowers and etc. I appreciated it so much and I was touched to see all of the motivation and support they offered to me. Great to have you all and I strongly believed my speedy in recovery will mostly due to the presence of these groups of people that sacrificed without requesting any return. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

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